If you’ve wondered whether to say sen or siz in Turkish, the short answer is: sen for one person you’re close to, siz for more than one person or for one person you want to be polite to. But choosing a pronoun is only half of it. Turks also address each other with titles and family words: Ahmet Bey, Ayşe Hanım, abi, abla, teyze, hocam. Get these right and you’ll sound polite and natural; get them wrong and you’ll sound either stiff or rude.
This guide covers the pronoun choice, how the verb changes, the titles, the family-style address terms, and how to switch from siz to sen.
Sen and siz: the basic rule
Turkish has two words for “you”, explained in the personal pronouns guide:
- sen (sen): one person, informal. Use it with friends, family, children, classmates and people your own age in casual settings.
- siz (seez): more than one person, or one person formally. Use it with strangers, older people, customers, officials, teachers, doctors and your boss.
The pronoun itself is often dropped, because the verb ending shows who you mean. That’s why choosing sen or siz really means choosing the ending:
| English | Informal (sen) | Formal or plural (siz) |
|---|---|---|
| How are you? | Nasılsın? | Nasılsınız? |
| What’s your name? | Adın ne? | Adınız ne? |
| Where are you from? | Nerelisin? | Nerelisiniz? |
| Do you speak English? | İngilizce biliyor musun? | İngilizce biliyor musunuz? |
| Can you help me? | Bana yardım eder misin? | Bana yardım eder misiniz? |
| Come in. | Gel. / Gelsene. | Buyurun. / Gelin. |
| Sit down. | Otur. | Oturun. / Buyurun, oturun. |
| Thanks. | Sağ ol. | Sağ olun. |
| Goodbye (said by the one leaving) | Hoşça kal. | Hoşça kalın. |
| Welcome! | Hoş geldin! | Hoş geldiniz! |
The question particle also carries the ending: musun vs musunuz. Whatever you choose, be consistent within a sentence.
Polite requests: going beyond siz
A bare imperative such as Gelin (Come) is polite enough for many situations, but requests sound softer as questions. The imperative guide covers the basic forms; here are the steps up in politeness:
| Turkish | Politeness | English |
|---|---|---|
| Kapıyı kapat. | Informal command | Close the door. |
| Kapıyı kapatın. | Polite or plural command | Please close the door. |
| Kapıyı kapatır mısınız? | Polite request | Would you close the door? |
| Kapıyı kapatabilir misiniz? | Very polite | Could you close the door? |
| Rica etsem kapıyı kapatır mısınız? | Extra polite | If I may ask, would you close the door? |
The -abilir misiniz form uses the ability suffix. On signs and official forms you’ll also see the extra-formal ending -ınız/-iniz: Lütfen sıra numarası alınız (Please take a queue number). You don’t need to use it in speech.
The respectful plural
In formal or traditional speech, people sometimes use a plural verb for a single respected person in the third person: Müdür Bey toplantıdalar (The manager is in a meeting). You’ll hear it in offices and from older speakers. You can understand it without using it yourself.
Bey and Hanım: Mr and Ms, Turkish style
Bey (bey) and Hanım (hah-nuhm) go after the first name and are capitalised: Ahmet Bey, Zeynep Hanım. This is the standard polite way to address colleagues, landlords, neighbours, clients and anyone you’d call “Mr” or “Ms” in English, and it’s used with siz.
| Turkish | Pronunciation hint | English | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| Ahmet Bey | ah-met bey | Mr Ahmet | First name + Bey |
| Zeynep Hanım | zey-nep hah-nuhm | Ms Zeynep | First name + Hanım |
| beyefendi | bey-eh-fen-dee | sir | On its own, to a stranger |
| hanımefendi | hah-nuhm-eh-fen-dee | madam | On its own, to a stranger |
| efendim | eh-fen-deem | sir/madam; pardon?; hello (phone) | Very versatile |
| Sayın … | sah-yuhn | Dear … / Mr/Ms … | Formal writing: Sayın Yılmaz |
| Bay / Bayan | bahy / bah-yahn | Mr / Ms | Forms and signs; rare in speech |
A few points to remember:
- Surname + Bey (Yılmaz Bey) does occur in some workplaces, but first name + Bey/Hanım is the everyday norm.
- In emails, Sayın Yılmaz, is formal; Merhaba Zeynep Hanım, is polite but friendlier.
- Efendim? on its own means “Pardon?” or “Yes?” and is a polite way to answer the phone or respond when someone calls you.
Family words for strangers: abi, abla, amca, teyze
In everyday life, especially in shops, markets, taxis and neighbourhoods, people address each other with family terms. They signal warmth, not actual kinship.
| Turkish | Pronunciation hint | Literal meaning | Who you call this |
|---|---|---|---|
| abi (ağabey) | ah-bee | older brother | A man a bit older than you; shopkeepers, drivers, friends |
| abla | ahb-lah | older sister | A woman a bit older than you |
| kardeşim | kahr-deh-sheem | my sibling | Someone younger; used by men especially |
| amca | ahm-jah | uncle (father’s brother) | An older man, roughly your parents’ age or older |
| teyze | tey-zeh | aunt (mother’s sister) | An older woman |
| dede | deh-deh | grandfather | An elderly man |
| yenge | yen-geh | sister-in-law | The wife of a friend or of an abi |
| hocam | hoh-jahm | my teacher | Teachers, academics, doctors, and colleagues in many workplaces |
| usta | oos-tah | master | Craftsmen, mechanics, drivers, cooks |
| kızım / oğlum | kuh-zuhm / oh-loom | my daughter / my son | Said by older people to young people |
| canım | jah-nuhm | my dear | Close friends; shop assistants to customers |
These words can follow a name: Mehmet Abi, Fatma Abla, Ayşe Teyze, Ali Usta. Note that ağabey is the standard written spelling, but almost everyone says and texts abi.
Age is the delicate part. Calling a woman in her forties teyze can sting; she may feel abla fits better. When unsure, pick the younger term: abla rather than teyze, abi rather than amca.
Mixing is normal. A family term doesn’t force sen. Abi, bakar mısınız? (Excuse me, could you help?) combines a warm address with a polite verb, and it’s very common with shopkeepers. Among friends, abi goes with sen.
Who gets sen and who gets siz?
| Situation | Usually | Address |
|---|---|---|
| Waiter in a restaurant | siz | Bakar mısınız? (Excuse me) |
| Market stallholder | siz or sen | abi, abla |
| Taxi driver | siz | abi, usta |
| Landlord | siz | first name + Bey/Hanım |
| Police officer | siz | Memur Bey, Memur Hanım |
| Doctor | siz | Doktor Bey, Doktor Hanım, hocam |
| University lecturer | siz | hocam |
| Your boss | siz | first name + Bey/Hanım, unless told otherwise |
| Colleague your age | sen, after the first meeting | first name |
| Neighbour’s elderly mother | siz | teyze |
| Friend’s child | sen | first name |
Switching from siz to sen
Moving to sen is a small step closer, and it’s usually suggested by the older or more senior person. Phrases you’ll hear:
- Bana sen diyebilirsin. – You can call me sen.
- Birbirimize sen diyelim mi? – Shall we say sen to each other?
- Bey demene gerek yok, sadece Ahmet. – No need for “Bey”, just Ahmet.
The phrase senli benli olmak means “to be on sen terms”, but it can also imply being overfamiliar, so don’t use it to propose the switch.
Dialogue: first day at the office
Selin: Günaydın, hoş geldiniz! Siz yeni mühendis olmalısınız. Selin: Good morning, welcome! You must be the new engineer.
Daniel: Günaydın, evet. Ben Daniel. Memnun oldum. Daniel: Good morning, yes. I’m Daniel. Nice to meet you.
Selin: Ben de memnun oldum. Ben Selin. Murat Bey sizi bekliyor, odası şurada. Selin: Nice to meet you too. I’m Selin. Murat Bey is expecting you; his office is over there.
Daniel: Teşekkür ederim, Selin Hanım. Daniel: Thank you, Ms Selin.
Selin: Hanım demenize gerek yok! Yaşıtız galiba. Birbirimize sen diyelim mi? Selin: No need to say “Hanım”! I think we’re the same age. Shall we say sen to each other?
Daniel: Tabii, çok iyi olur. Öğle yemeğinde nereye gidiyorsunuz… pardon, gidiyorsun? Daniel: Sure, that would be great. Where do you (formal)… sorry, where do you (informal) go for lunch?
Selin: Köşedeki lokantaya. Gel, seni de götürelim! Selin: To the restaurant on the corner. Come, we’ll take you too!
Common mistakes
- Putting Bey or Hanım first. “Bey Ahmet” is wrong; say Ahmet Bey.
- Mixing sen and siz in one sentence. “Siz nasılsın?” is a mismatch. Say Siz nasılsınız? or Sen nasılsın?
- Using Bayan to get a woman’s attention. It sounds odd in speech. Use Hanımefendi or Bakar mısınız?
- Calling everyone teyze or amca. These suit people clearly older than your parents’ generation. For middle-aged people, abla and abi are safer.
- Using sen with an official or an older stranger. It can come across as disrespectful even if your Turkish is otherwise perfect.
Mini-quiz
- Make this polite: Nerelisin?
- Your landlord is Kemal Yıldız. How do you address him in speech?
- You want to call a waiter. What do you say?
- A woman of about 35 runs a market stall. Which address term fits best?
- Translate: Bana sen diyebilirsiniz.
- Correct the mistake: Hanım Elif, kahve ister misin? (said to a client)
Answers
- Nerelisiniz?
- Kemal Bey.
- Bakar mısınız?
- Abla.
- You can call me sen.
- Elif Hanım, kahve ister misiniz?
Next steps
Address terms appear in almost every greeting, so practice them alongside our guide to greetings in Turkish. To drill the sen and siz verb endings, run any verb through the verb conjugator and compare the second-person singular and plural forms.
